A deep pain inside me and inwardly I cried out for freedom. In my heart I had long been deeply wounded. I long ago lost all hope, withdrew, was depressed, anorexic, alcohol and drugs accompanied my daily life to endure myself and the world.
At the lowest point, I attended an Alpha course with my mother, where I made the most important decision of my life and gave my life to Jesus! This decision had a great impact in our family, my father as well as my brother and his wife also gave their lives to Jesus.
A missionary assignment in Africa for several months again revealed much of my past. Now freed from addiction, I noticed my inner conflicts and the fears associated with them. I still felt imprisoned. Again and again I ran inwardly as if against a wall. For this very reason, I avoided interpersonal relationships and gatherings of people.
The call to LüdenscheidThen came the call to Lüdenscheid to the Revival School. There I was freed from many fears, loved back to health by my environment. The life together exposed much in me. Then came the revelation of abuse, and in search of healing, I got to know God and myself anew.
Arrived at WiedenhofThe longing for complete healing and fatherhood led me to Wiedenhof. Here I relived various stages of my past in a deeper dimension where God touched my heart as a father. In situations where I was really desperate - among others the death of my father - suddenly pain, sadness, anger, hate and rage came up in me with full force. Emotions that had always been suppressed could finally come out because I could no longer control them. The Wiedenhof team carried me with a lot of patience, love, prayers and conversations. In this way I was able to take the path of forgiveness, of repentance. In the relationship with my earthly father and in letting go of him, God as Father met me in such love and mercy as I had never known before. The pain is gone, healed. The inner wall against which I ran for years is gone, collapsed.
In Christ I am free!